Sonya Thomas lcsw

Working with Attachment Wounding

The five functions which support secure attachment are:

  • Safety and Protection
  • Attunement
  • Soothing and Comfort
  • Expressed Delight
  • Support and Encouragement

We all needed caregivers who did a good enough (not perfect) job of providing us with plenty of experiences, lots of moments, and consistent and predictable  environments conducive to our psychological development in childhood.  When this did not happen, our internal working model/attachment system became formed in ways that created insecure attachment.  This shows up in our adult relationships as either avoidant (dismissive) or anxious (preoccupied) attachment styles.  Some who endured traumatic experiences of abuse and neglect develop disorganized attachment.  All of the insecure attachment adaptations impact who we are attracted to, how we experience others, how we “show up” in relationships, and how we cope with stressors in our day to day lives.  Attachment wounds are correlated with complex PTDS, anxiety, depression, substance use disorders, neuroses and personality disorders.  According to Gabor Mate, they are also linked to health conditions in adulthood such as diabetes, heart disease, obesity, auto-immune disorders, inflammatory conditions and other chronic health concerns.  Healing attachment wounds in adulthood entails re-working our internal working models.  There is more than one road to Rome when it comes to healing attachment wounding.  Please watch this video on the Ideal Parent Figure Method if you are interested in learning about one such road.

Until next time, peace.