Sonya Thomas lcsw

Use your voice

Use your voice. That is a cardinal rule in realtionships.  If you choose to remain voiceless out of  avoidance, fear of conflict, unworthiness, laziness, lack of entitelment, or because it is easer to just be quiet, then you are not in relationship.  You are, in actuality, living parallel lives, which can feel more or less unrewarding.  Perhaps there is smoldering rage in the unpsoken.  Maybe it is just garden variety boredom.   Resentments build.  Grudges get formed and held.  Or maybe there is just a barren landscape berween you.
A relationship is defined by the co-existence of two people – two separate parties with differing thoughts, feelings, wants, wishes, histories, cultures, values, opinions and preferences. Therefore, it is essential that both partners reveal the truth of themselves.  Then, and only then, can you begin the negotiation, compromise, accomodation and perhaps surrender to the reality that  in a relationship, one person does not always win.  Both must decide to buy-in to all the small and large decisions that must be made, from the practical to the ephemeral.
Sometimes, you get your way.
Sometimes, you don’t.
Sometimes, you get some of your way.
But you always get your voice.  Use it wisely.
Until next time, peace.