My Approach to Integrative Couples Therapy
When it comes to couples therapy, I believe there is more than one road that leads to Rome. This means that I do not doggedly adhere to one model (road) of couples therapy. Instead, I use a blend of the skills and knowledge gleaned in my trainings in Gottman Relationship Therapy, Imago Couples Therapy, Attachment Theory and Interpersonal Neurobiology. All work will be deeply grounded in the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy, pioneered by Drs. Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson. The Developmental Model places a premium on partners’ ability to successfully navigate the different developmental stages that are present in all intimate partnerships. Problems arise when an arrest occurs at a developmental stage. Many couples enter therapy with complaints that are rooted in being stuck at a specific developmental stage. I will help couples transform their relationship by getting unstuck, successfully navigate the developmental stage that is arrested, and progress on to a more healthy and functional interdependent connection.
Prior to your initial session, I ask all new couples therapy clients to read this article on how to get the most from couples therapy. Another bit of reading I highly recommend to all who seek couples therapy is this essay on “romantic-realism“. It is not uncommon to have unrealistic expectations of long term partnership. This essay dispels some of the more common unrealistic expectations, though be forewarned, it is not necessarily fun or easy to comes to terms with our expectations of romance.